Could it be possible that someone’s biggest joy could also be our biggest cause of pain?
Parents worldwide are becoming aware that while they love their children, their children could also be strong pain triggers.
After beginning the Curable program, users shared their stories about chronic pain and parenting. Users discovered that their pain often began during pregnancy or right after their child was born. Using techniques rooted in modern neuroscience and the mindbody connection, combined with improved self-care, parents were able to seriously reduce their pain.
Discover several of users’ stories below:
Diana’s Story
While Diana dealt with minor pain for a few years before she became pregnant with her first child, her hip/ SI joint pain intensified as she dealt with the stress and anxiety of becoming a first-time parent.
“My daughter was not a calm baby at all,” Diana said. “I fought sleep, and I felt like I wasn’t a good mom for her because she cried all the time. This brought up a lot more symptoms for me.”
In addition to her pain, Diana developed severe insomnia and postpartum anxiety. She was soon diagnosed with CIRS, Lyme disease, and mold illness.
When all medical options failed her, she decided to turn inward. “It wasn’t until the past year (she’s 5) that I began to see the connection as it relates to my own upbringing and parents.”
As Diana began to explore the triggers for the stress of being a mom, she came to a realization.
“My body began ‘crying out.’ I think at the root of it, I was grieving that my parents weren’t nurturing in the ways I longed for a child/adolescent. I was also probably subconsciously not ready to care for another human when I hadn’t yet felt cared for in the ways I wanted to as a child.”
Diana’s embarked on a new period of her life full of healing.
“Now I’ve begun the process the process of dealing with my heart,” she said. “I’m already seeing some major improvements. I’ve sought out healing through all the Curable methods and techniques, multiple books, and therapy through the Pain and Psychology Center in LA.”
Diana’s now meditating often in the mornings and filling the time her young children are in school with activities that bring her life and energy - like hiking, reading, and writing.
“What really motivates me is that I know that continued healing will make me a better mom,” Diana said. “I can only parent as well as I am healed from my own story. If I feel shame, I will shame my kids. If I’m angry, it’ll come out in my parenting. I long for more healing for my own sake and also for the sake of my whole family, especially my amazing kids. They are worth it, and we are worth it!”
Rhonda’s always been a perfectionist. She wanted to please everyone. And when she became a parent, her body felt it. Five months after Rhonda’s child was born, she began a 6-year journey dealing with chronic and episodic migraines.
All of that changed when she saw an ad for the Curable app.
“I realized parenting was a trigger for pain when I listened to the introductory lessons in Curable about the mindbody connection and how there were three things that could contribute to chronic pain – personality, past stressors and current stressors,” Rhonda said, explaining that she had no idea that parenting itself was a reason for her pain. “At the time, my doctors and I suspected that lack of sleep and a change in hormones were triggers. I also tried diet changes to see if that could be a trigger. No amount of extra sleep or diet changes made a lasting change – my migraines always came back.”
Upon beginning Curable, Rhonda began putting the pieces together.
“Curable helped me consider the amount of stress I was under during that time,” she said. “Working full time, adjusting to a new role, overseeing childcare, learning how to take care of an infant and all the triggers I felt about parenting and childhood… it became pretty obvious that parenting was a starting place and trigger for my chronic pain.”
After becoming aware of her stressors and using Curable regularly, Rhonda began seeing results.
“My migraines have decreased by about 50 percent in just these first few months,” she said. “I’m confident they’ll continue to decrease as I’m building an emotional lexicon for my body and those important new neural pathways.”
While using Curable, Rhonda has learned to be more honest with her children and herself.
“The first time I allowed myself to tell my children that I was angry, they just stared at me for a minute and no one said anything,” she said. “Then there was a beautiful moment where my 6-year-old looked at me and said, ‘OK Mommy’ and gave me a hug. He acknowledged my feelings without judgment and showed me compassion better than I had been doing for myself for years! So humbling but also so gratifying.”
She’s also learned to prioritize self-care.
“My self-care tip is to make space for yourself. You can lose yourself in the role of mother (or father or caregiver) and begin to only respond to the emotions and needs of others. And this really is detrimental to your own health but also to the health of your relationships. My kids need a Mom who not only shows up for them but shows up for myself too. That's what I want for them, anyways, for them to show up wholeheartedly to their own lives, their own stories. Curable has been such a great place for me to start that work.”
Clare’s Story
Clare’s journey with chronic migraines began at perhaps the most stressful time in her life. She was pregnant, her father was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and she was moving from the United States back to the United Kingdom to be with him.
At the time, she considered having an abortion, because she did not want to be with the father of her child but instead, she ended up marrying him. He’s been a trigger ever since.
With all the trauma going on in her life, it took Clare quite some time before she realized being a mom could be a trigger for her pain.
“I started taking headache classes at a chronic pain clinic, and began to understand the lifestyle things that can cause migraines,” she said. “I started to appreciate how big a trigger sleep is, or lack of, which is one of the first things that [triggers] you with a new baby – the disrupted sleep.”
She’s tried a bunch of different techniques to prioritize her health and reduce her migraines.
“I’ve tried botox, preventive and abortive medications, acupuncture, running, yoga,” she explained.” “I’m finding loads about Curable really helpful, in particular, the meditations and definitely the panic button. Now when I have a migraine, I feel like I also have to be in charge of fixing it.”
